Wednesday, December 9, 2009

Talking Dirty

When you think about what makes sex good, the physical factors most likely come to mind: how you touch each other, the positions you try, and the body parts you focus on. But there's another key contributor that is often overlooked: the words you utter. Speaking or hearing erotically charged words stimulates dopamine transmission, which plays a huge role in sexual excitement, they can enhance the emotional and physical intensity of the experience.

Sounds great...but what should you say that won't seem ridiculous? (Unless you're a porn star, "Do me hard, bad boy!" probably doesn't roll off the tongue.) Most women aren't sure what sounds sexy, so they don't say anything, as a result, you're missing out on pleasure — which is so not right.

Here's a revelation: On a Sirius Cosmo Radio show about talking sexy in bed, tons of guys called in to share the phrase that gets them hotter than any other. By a landslide, it was "I'm coming." Yup, that's it. And what about women? Are there words with similar superpowers for us? We turned to Kerner, who divulged a sentence tailored to maximize your satisfaction.

For His Pleasure


"I'm coming." So simple, so powerful. This sentence is like the sex version of bacon — men freakin' love it. Being a great lover is a prime source of pride for guys, telling him you're about to orgasm is the ultimate accolade. It's proof that he's successfully satisfying you. What's more, he's gotten you so aroused that you're out of control — this phrase suggests that even if you tried, you couldn't stop from tumbling over the edge.

Announcing your orgasm's arrival also amps up anticipation for that pivotal moment, thus enhancing enjoyment for both of you. Plus, since most men are ready to climax before women are, this gives him permission to come, that's definitely music to his, um, ears.

For Your Pleasure

Women, on the other hand, want something less basic than bacon.  "I love it when you [verb] my [body part]," such as "I love it when you rub my thigh/kiss my neck/lick my breasts." Verbalizing the sensation brings your attention to it, which reinforces the pleasure you're experiencing. It's like eating a yummy meal — talking about how delicious it is can make it even tastier.

This phrase also helps you stay in the moment, if your mind starts wandering or you're stressing about other stuff, expressing what's happening to you keeps you focused on what you're feeling that second.

Your guy gets off on it too.It shows him that he's doing something right,  and once he knows you dig that move, he'll probably repeat it. Excellent.

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